Parenting Tips - Parents Guiding Your Children to a Good Future

Parents

Guiding Your Children to a Good Future

Consider this scenario. You are a middle aged executive fairly settled in your job and leading a comfortable family life. Your children have become teenagers and are on the verge of finishing high school. Now you and your spouse will encounter a crucial question: What sort of higher studies and subsequently a career will your children get into? Given the present day condition of cut throat competition and limited availability of seats in the most sought after fields, anxiety and worries are bound to grip the parents of would- be high- school graduates. The more children you have, the greater is your discomfiture.

Since the lives of parents are intricately interwoven with that of their offsprings, they are by far the best advisors for their children, provided of course that they are moderately educated. But unfortunately, due to social pressures and the raging spirit of rivalry, even highly educated and professionally successful parents come down very harshly on their children. By adopting unkind psychological methods like taunting, threatening and bullying, they compel their children to take up what they (the parents) want them (the children) to.

It follows as a natural corollary that doctors' children end up as doctors, scientists' children as scientists, businessmen's kids as businessmen and so forth. This is the general trend in India, at least. On their part, the children are reluctant to oppose their parents or break into revolt, to avoid domestic tensions and save face in public.

But this use of coercion by the parents and guardians often takes a heavy toll of the students' mental and emotional stability. Forced into a strange sphere against their wishes, they either fail to perform or perform miserably and in the process invite further sarcasm or ridicule from their parents, peers, acquaintances and so forth.

To get out of this uncomfortable situation, you as parents need to adopt a considerate and sympathetic attitude towards your wards.

Some suggestions as to how to cope with the career problems of children are outlined below:

First and foremost you must realise that each child is an individual as distinct from the others. Each child has certain innate qualities, latent abilities and talents, which need to be honed and chiselled over the years in order to bring out the best in him or her. Therefore, even when you watch your child growing up along with your neighbour's children, sharing their ideas and tastes, you must bear in mind that his/her needs are still unique.

By the time a child is 7 - 8 years of age, his/her likes and dislikes, predilections and weaknesses begin to emerge clearly. It would be important to keep a track of these when the child enters teenage and is about to choose his /her future career. Just because Mr X's daughter is good in mathematics or Mrs Y's son is good in Physics, and your child is not, does not mean he/she is stupid or dull. Why, he/she may be good in music/ geography/ English/ needlework/ painting? It becomes your duty therefore, to help him mould a decent career out of the things he/she is good at.

Never chide or admonish your child in front of others. More particularly so when he/she has metamorphosed into an adolescent or teenager. Doing so will hurt his/her ego and shatter his/her self-confidence. He/she will end up doing far more badly in his forthcoming tests or examinations.

Parenting Tips - Family communication

 

Parents

Family communication

• Communication is about talking and listening, sharing interests, solving problems, talking about our experiences, expressing feelings, explaining what we need and want and telling stories. When you talk with your family it helps to remember that they are people and not just partners, children and parents.

• Everyone has negative times. How we deal with them is what counts. Using too much sarcasm, teasing, name calling, shaming, nagging, threats, blame or any form of physical violence makes you feel bad about yourself - not to mention everyone else.

• You can speak and listen to others better by:

• really listening to what people say and mean • trying to understand each other • being aware of your own feelings • trying to understand other points of view

• speaking in ways which make sense to others • trying to match tone and words • thinking about other people's feelings • being clear about what you expect and expect the best

• keeping your sense of humor • solving problems together • discussing choices

• knowing what responsibilities are appropriate for your child at different ages • talking about things other people try to do and things they are better at

• helping children say how they are feeling • making some family rules, eg, people are not for hitting or hurting • asking others how they spent their day

• spending time with children talking, playing a game, reading a story, listening to a record.

As a parent you can -

• Give him the courage to be imperfect.

• Base your comments on the effort being made and not on the result.

• Encourage your child to TRY.

• Remind him that everyone makes mistakes and that nobody is perfect.

• Don't rush him into any activity.

• Don't compare him with other children.

• Don't be critical - be supportive

Parenting Tips Teen Encourage Good Study Habits

 

Teen

Encourage Good Study Habits

As with any habit (good or bad), the sooner good study habits are developed, the better they will stick. It's never too early to introduce your child to positive study habits, which will reward his or her efforts throughout school and life.

Steps:

Be a good role model. If you sometimes bring work home with you or you're taking a course yourself, your child will learn your habits. Make them good!

Help your child organize things. For example, the protractor and compass belong to the math binder, sheet music in the violin case.

Help him or her organize space. The kitchen table is for eating; your child's desk is for studying.

Help your child organize time. Establish a routine for completing schoolwork. It doesn't have to be the minute your child walks in the door; just agree on a set time and stick to it.

Minimize distractions. Thirteen-year-old wisdom notwithstanding, geometric proofs are not better retained when learned concurrently with loud music, "South Park" and a telephone receiver at one ear.

Check your child's work. Every night is unnecessary, but check it often enough that he or she knows you might - and that you care.

Insist that sloppy or careless work be redone, but don't correct errors; teachers need to know what students don't know.

Give praise whenever possible and appropriate. A sincere expression of pride in your child's academic accomplishments can go a long way toward making studying a habit.

Parenting Tips Help a Teen Find a Job

 

Teen

Help a Teen Find a Job

1. Sit down together and assess skills, expectations and requirements, just as you would do for yourself.

2. Discuss options, taking into account your teen's time availability and transportation needs.

3. Think creatively: If your daughter wants to be a tennis star, maybe she can work at the local tennis club. Or your wannabe reporter can call local newspapers and radio stations for an intern position.

4. Help your teen create a résumé, even if this is her first working experience. A teen résumé can include academic and extracurricular information and can mention awards, honors and relevant skills and interests.

5. Role-play with your teen. Listen to her ask for the job and describe her strengths, and coach her on what she should say in response to questions the interviewer may pose.

6. Make a list of possible contacts, including both yours and your child's.

7. Get phone numbers and encourage the teen to call for job possibilities. 8. Once your teen has applied for a job, encourage her to make a follow-up call if the management doesn't respond within a week.

Parenting Tips - Primary schooler’s

 

Primary schooler’s

Physical development

• Between the ages of six and 12 children grow in height while their body proportions stay the same. This is different from babyhood and adolescence where dramatic physical development occurs. • Children get their second teeth between five and seven years of age.

• School children need and like lots of physical activities. This is the time they develop organised sport skills. They also enjoy rough and tumble play and group activities such as chasey and ball games. They are lively and loud as they play.

• They are more coordinated and their finger and hand skills develop as they get older. They are now able to learn a musical instrument, do fine hand work such as sewing or model making and enjoy simple dressmaking and cooking.

• Children of this age let off steam by being physical. Make sure there's a balance between play and sport. Some children will need extra support and encouragement.

• Feeling good about their bodies and physical skills is very important for your child's self image. If you are concerned about your child speak to the teacher, a physiotherapist or doctor.

• It's important that the primary schooler has a nutritionally balanced diet so their best physical and motor development can be achieved.

• During the seven years of primary school, children will refine and modify skills such as running, climbing, galloping and hopping. They will learn how to skip, how to throw, catch and kick a ball and catch a ball with more dexterity.

• From middle primary onwards, particularly in girls, early signs of puberty can occur.

Encouragement

Will Power

Perhaps the most important ingredient for success is a strong will power i.e. the power to control ones impulses and actions and not to give up in the face of difficulty. Beethoven turned deaf but he did not surrender to his fate : he struggled and made a resounding success of his life by his indomitable spirit. One is not necessarily born with his spirit ; it is a skill which can be sharpened by practice. People who indulge in vices like excessive drinking, gambling and taking drugs sometimes wish to stop but can not because they lack in will power. It can be built up gradually by resisting temptations. Children can begin by refusing to see a movie or a favorite TV program for a week : they can refrain from indulging in gossip or criticizing somebody for ten days. Setting deadlines for achieving a particular target, say reducing one's weight by 2 Kgs within one month, would help tremendously. Writing your specific goal would go a long way in developing a will power. By saying that, "I am going to study more" would not be of use but deciding to study to study for 2 hours a day is indicative of definiteness.

• Children should be allowed to succumb to peer pressure : They should follow their own beliefs. Let them tell themselves that they are good. Self esteem and positive feeling about oneself spur people to excel. So a child's concept of self should never be trampled upon. Let boys and girls feel that they belong to a respectable family, a good community, a good school and a great country. it gives them the will power to overcome their moments of weakness.

Communication

Kids ought to know that we communicate in many ways : orally, in writing, through body language, not doing something which is expected, silence, tone, pitch, eye contact and so on. The way we sit, stand, walk or talk, all speak of our personality, confidence and character. Children should fully grasp that clear and precise speaking presupposes clear thinking crystallized ideas. Therefore children should be made to practice communication skills in all possible ways.

Training In Childhood

Encourage your ward to take on responsibility in early days. Whatever position is offered to your child ( say Monitor of the class, a perfect, Captain of a team, secretary of a club or society, participation in debates, dances, comparing a program, taking parts in dramas etc.) should be voluntarily accepted by children for getting trained, besides assisting them in developing and sharpening their talents. There are thousands of situations where responsibility can be undertaken and the qualities needed for a successful life honed. At home parents can provide an opportunity to their children to express their views fearlessly in family matters. They could be asked to initiate discussion. They can be given the responsibility of soliciting the opinion of other family members and then either take a decision or bring about a consensus. Inspiring stories of great men to their progeny: tell them how they achieved greatness. Inspiring stories quotations, parables, anecdotes, examples of tenacious, adventurous people go a long way in instilling the spirit of success. Great players, musicians, artists, inventors, and authors have all climbed the ladder of success by constant practice.

Hard Work

This brings us to the fact that rarely do we achieve something without hard work and sacrifice. Spectacular achievers can be distinguished from low achievers because they focused more on what they wanted to achieve and worked towards it with full commitment and enthusiasm. They applied their energies to their strengths with total dedication and relentlessness.

Enthusiasm

Let children be enthusiastic about what they are doing. They should think, talk and dream about it. Enthusiasm helps one to do a great deal of work without fatigue. Those who achieve success are always full of fired . The spark is there in most of the youths : we as parents have only to ignite it. The process may be slow but surely it is possible. So allow your child to dream the impossible, for if there is no dream there will be nothing for him to achieve! Remember the winner's podium is for those who seek it and try for it.

Parenting Tips - Primary schooler’s

 

Primary schooler’s

Learning difficulties

• Children achieve in many ways.

• Some children:

• speak well • can tell you about their thoughts and feelings • imagine well • solve problems

• think things through • are very aware of other people and can work well in groups.

• Sometimes children seem very bright and can talk well but are not very good with numbers and logical thinking. Or they may read badly but be very good at sports. Try to focus on things children do well.

• Underachieving means a child isn't doing well in something they are normally good at.

• Below are some of the reasons children don't do well:

• They're stressed because everyone expects them to do well. • They want to show they can make their own decisions. • They want to show they are different from their brothers or sisters.

• They want to be accepted by friends. • They want to show they are like their friends. • They don't want to be teased.

• They are distracted by family problems, friendships or another interest.

• They find a new task difficult when usually they have found learning easy. It's hard for a child who is good at learning to suddenly have trouble with it.

• They don't check their work. • The health and wellbeing of the child may be affected. • Feeling useless in some areas often makes them feel they are not good at anything.

Primary schooler’s

Sports and games

• Physical play and games help children improve their coordination and balance. • Children develop healthy habits by being physically active everyday. This also helps their future health.

• Young children gain confidence through sport and physical activity.

• Physical games are different to organised sport. Organised sport usually requires training and practice. There are rules, teamwork, commitment, competition, winning and losing.

• Some children don't like organized sport but there are other things they can enjoy such as:

• bike riding • playing in the waves at the beach • bush and nature walks • hopscotch

• bouncing on a trampoline • swinging • climbing trees • digging in the garden

• made up games with friends • picnic cricket, rounder.

• Play should be fun. • Appreciate all children's efforts when trying something new.

• Be honest with yourself about the child's level of skill, maturity and ability. • Never compare your child with a friend or sibling.